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I know we've stated this already, but I'd just like to reiterate that this is the size I was instructed to buy based on my measurements. And this still makes my belly look like a pile of shiny horse poop. Apparently I have the world's largest vag 'cause the crotch on these pants is ridiculous.

The model really doesn't do this god-awful material justice. This is just a mess. I love when things are simultaneously too big and too small. I don't even know what to do ih that — like, sorry I inconvenienced you with the distribution of my fat?

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Can we talk about how the model appears to have come equipped with some sort of perfectly shorts-shaped butt and upper thighs? The leg holes on this were so cartoonishly big on me that I looked like a mom from the '80s who has just come sew from the store with SunnyD.

I'm sure some girls could look cool AF in these jeans but I am not one of them. Either hit me at the itt or hit me at the knee — stop confusing yourself. The only thing I'm thinking is, How can I pick out this wedgie without everyone noticing? How tall do Single horny from Crestwood KY have to be in order for these to look like how they're intended?!

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There is enough space in these leg holes left over where I could grope myself if I wanted to. Look, I get it. Not everything is going to flatter everyone. But the amount of guesswork that goes into trying to figure out if something WILL flatter me before ordering it online is crazy-making.

So really, the only winner here is the post office. Here's the thing — I know I'm plus-size. So all you fine people who are going to say that if I don't like the 1s that my stomach shows 1x fuck to see how i like it should get 1xx smaller tummy, thanks in advance: But that's not the point. The point is 1x fuck to see how i like it I too like to wear cute AF, fashionable clothes.

Massage Fond-du-Lac Saskatchewan ending in need asap any fashion designers are listening: I'll give you my money, just make me decent stuff in my size! Also, all y'all need to start labeling shit very clearly on websites. If I need to go up three sizes to get the same look as the model, just tell me.

OK, rant over. In Melissa McCarthy we trust. Share On facebook Share On facebook Share.

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Share On more Share On more More. Share On tumblr Share On tumblr. Share On link Share On link. Macey J. We're Sheridan and Kristin, two plus-size ladies of different heights: Kristin is 5'3'' and Sheridan is 5'11''. And we hwo clothes.